First, please accept a huge moment of gratitude from me.
If you’re still with me and are reading this, you’ve put in effort I never expected. For that and so much more, I’m moved and am deeply inspired. You never know what to expect from friends, when you switch paths.
Take a moment and take a deep breath in, feeling the gratitude I’m sending to you.
I really mean that. Please do that for just a moment.
Now back to the journey from NY to ME.
Moves are funny little incidents in our lives. However, I’m not sure the move itself is the reason it’s one of the 5 biggest stressors we can face in our lifetimes. I believe it’s what you lose and gain in the experience, that make it so stressful. And I also remember, not all stress is BAD stress. Some of what we face during a move is good stress.
Nonetheless, when you announce you’re moving, there are people bidding for your time, pulling you in a multitude of emotional and physical directions. You usually have the normal work routine you’ve always had and if you’re self employed like Rob and I are, those work routines are significantly increased. In order to take off a month from work to settle in to our new home, we knew we’d be putting in extra hours before the move.
Second, I want to keep you up to date with what I have learned through this move.
The mental, physical, emotional, and spiritual aspect of it all is a lot to think about, but I’ve condensed it a bit for you. Since I don’t have much time with you lately because of increased workloads, this is an easier way to let you in my head. And if you’ve read Julia Cameron’s “Artist’s Way,” you know journaling also clears the mind a bit. So this is partly for me, as it is also a note to you. I can only hope by the end of this that perhaps it’ll move, inspire, or teach you something you didn’t know.
That’s always my goal in sharing, after all…
THE MENTAL ASPECT
I’m still waiting for responses on shipping supplies from distributors, which puts a delay in me getting an accurate update to you on shipping meals. For that I apologize, but as you learn in business, patience is a virtue you must acquire. (It doesn’t naturally occur in my genetic makeup, in case you’re wondering…) Add a Mercury Retrograde into the mix, and expect delays of all types! 😉
Living with a house of boxes for almost a month can be rather frustrating. I’m not sure how people do this, to be honest. Rob and I usually unpack within 48 hours of moving max, because it’s so unnerving to not have access to things we regularly use. (I do understand there are circumstances that can’t be avoided sometimes, and boxes must stay packed in some situations.) During this transition, we’ve had to unpack boxes to get something we never expected to need. We have to step around boxes, and our house is a disheveled mess. I’m not as OCD or Type-A as I used to be, but humans by nature, appreciate order over chaos. It’s hard to see your belongings in boxes. It’s also a little panicky, when you think about physically loading and moving all those boxes and “will we have enough space on the truck?”
It’s easy to tell from our typical house setup that we have a lot of play things to look at and touch. We have games, mannequins and dolls (dressed and nekked). We have music systems in each room so we can play whatever our individual mood requires, without disturbing the person in the next room. Some rooms have ambient music playing continuously, so the cats are always bathed in soft, calming music. We have dim lighting—in other words, the house is lit by string lights—and we have lava lamps for additional mooding. It’s kinda like walking into a museum or antique store, as we’ve been told. I’ll send pics when they’re uploaded from the packed camera…
THE PHYSICAL ASPECT
As I said, or house is pretty much packed, thanks to Rob. The simple act of packing has increased the need for baths, which are soothing to the mind, soul—but most importantly, post-car accident back injuries. I’ve sprained and jammed toes on both of my feet recently, because of kicking boxes and metal corners on antique suitcases that were not where I expected them to be.
You forget that your mind automatically knows the space in a home and knows where things are. That is, until you move it (hence the bruised and sprained toes). Misjudged that space a couple of times!
Your whole sense of direction and equilibrium can and probably will be affected.
At the writing of this blog, I have unfortunately fallen slightly under the weather. I was lucky enough to be at work yesterday, and was able to have a smoothie with ginger, turmeric, berries, bee pollen, rice protein, wheatgrass, and black pepper. It was followed up with a ginger shot and a turmeric tea (both had fresh ginger and turmeric, water, black pepper, apple cider vinegar, and honey in different ratios). I also took NyQuil and a nap today. We’re moving next weekend—I really can’t be too sick for that process, knowing the drive and stress in store for us.
Because of my research background, I know 2 things…first, I can’t give up commitments I have this weekend like friends, an oil change/car check-up, and catering. Second, I also know I need to rest as much as possible. Did I feel guilty for taking a nap and not packing? Absolutely. Did I do it anyway, because I know better? Yes. Yes.
The human body is the most amazing and underestimated gift we have the pleasure of experiencing. When you push too hard, neglect it, or poison it, it does it’s best to maintain homeostasis as long as it can. Eventually if you don’t pay attention to warning signs (two sets of sprained toes and a prior torn foot muscle from 3 weeks ago), this lil body throws in the towel. I was hoping to avoid all the ill-feeling clients and co-workers lately and maintain my peak health, but alas. Not this time!
So…I relented to a day of snowy rest (the Universe really loves me—a good rain or snow storm always puts me in a place of rest, creativity, and peace). I know that pushing through this will either get Rob sick, or prolong my own suffering. Neither of those options are fair to anyone, and will not serve our move that happens in 7 days. So I rested, despite what my Ego wanted me to do.
THE EMOTIONAL ASPECT
Your whole sense of direction and equilibrium can be affected. Yep, I repeated myself on purpose, if you caught that. It’s an important fact that bears repeating.
You have to accept that when people are moving, they can be a little shorter in temper. (“They” is specifically referring to myself. Luckily as I said in a recent blog, meditation has saved my ass from being a REAL crank!)
All your belongings are in storage of some kind, you have a million directions you’re pulled in, and all you want to do is get past it all and fully rest in a deep breath or two. You look through things you’re packing, and have often forgotten. I’m a minimalist of sorts, so I really only have things I use or need. I also enjoy purging A LOT, so this is a great excuse to see what I’m no longer emotionally attached to. It’s also a good time to clear out things I may have a negative attachment to, despite thinking the contrary.
Moving is a great way to finally free yourself of emotional baggage and people that you just need to quit. Some things and people just no longer serve you, and if no one’s told you before that it’s OK to leave, let me be the first. Paths change, and that’s a hard lesson I’ve learned over the last 2 years.
The array of emotions you’ll face during a move can feel like a whirlwind. You feel guilty about not seeing people, but you know you have to take care of yourself first, or else suffer more stress and make the move harder on yourself and your family. It’s funny, I just gave a quick presentation about how to maintain health through the holidays and emphasized the need to put on your air mask in a plane crash. “you know the cliché—you can’t save anyone else on the plane, if you don’t survive.”
So I swallow the guilt and take a few minutes here and there of “selfish time.”
THE SPIRITUAL ASPECT
It’s funny…I love Feng Shui, whether the Chinese or Vedic philosophy. I have a book called “Creating Sacred Space with Feng Shui” by Karen Kingston. It’s been my guide through every move, though it admittedly stays on the shelf in between those moves. I typically draw a diagram of our new home, map the furniture according to this wonderful book, and plan with great detail.
Not this time.
This time, we haven’t even physically seen the house we’re moving to (pics and videos only), so I threw all caution to the wind. This move is a HUGE practice for me in the art of detachment, security, and being in the present moment. I decided not to plan furniture placement, and instead decided to wing it.
I’m practicing A LOT of gratitude. I’ve been in past situations where moves were forced involuntarily because of finances, or parental issues. I’ve had moves where there wasn’t much to move.
This time, I’m looking at all we have, with a different pair of eyes. We’ll be moving during the holidays, and that put a bit of a hold on gifts for this year. Instead of lamenting about that, we understand that every box we unpack, is a holiday present to ourselves. We have more than we truly need. I’m grateful for every box I kick and have to move around.
Finally, my promise to you…
Since you expressed concern about not seeing me again, fear not. Maine isn’t that far away, for starters. 450 miles, 7-9 hour depending on traffic and what route you take, and it’s *about* the same latitude as Rochester/upstate New York. I’ve maintained close friendships since middle and high school, though those lovely friends are still in Florida, and I’ve been in New York for the last 12 years. Despite not speaking to them as frequently as any of us would like, the channels of communication are always open.
In this day and age, fear of lack of communication is really kind of silly. We have far TOO MUCH access to people in my opinion, but a simple text or voice mail to say “hi” goes a long way. Neither of these should ever be underestimated. I have friends leave voice mails just to say they’re thinking of me or are driving past the house blowing kisses, and it deeply warms my heart. And they never expect a return call, text, email, or visit (which relieves A LOT of pressure off of my harried schedule). It’s the little things that make up big things.
We have emails, social media (I’m on Twitter, Instagram, and LinkedIn), skype, facetime, cars, trains, planes, ferry’s, texts, calls, and so many ways to stay connected. Please don’t live in fear. I’m never too far away. My goal in escaping, is to create a life where I can be MORE connected to people. I know it seems crazy, but you know how hectic life is in New York, and you know the hours I keep. Most of the time, I can’t see people here on Long Island as much as I’d want to, anyway – yes, I’m talking about you! 😉
I still plan on creating programs and serving you, as I have for the last couple of years. If you ever intend on moving, never be fearful or let anyone bring you down. There are a multitude of responses you’ll get from people, based on their own experiences. As Don Miguel Ruiz says, never take them personally.
Follow your heart, follow your passions, An It Harm None. Serve with all your soul!