The Hawk Told Me to Leave My Job

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It was late July when I finally identified the Coopers Hawk in the woods behind our apartment. Through the subtle messages Nature gives, I ended up nurturing 21 Swallowtails. The backstory is here: How Nature Guides – Pandorable Wellness (


That was just the beginning of the journey, which I knew immediately… as I mentioned in that blog,


My friends, THESE are the gifts Nature gives you daily. Words, images, and insights, if we’re only open to receiving… this is Ancient Wisdom.


Sometimes the answer isn’t a straight path and requires questions and patience. And especially silence. Who knew a hawk would lead me to butterflies!?


I had a suspicion there was more, based on my experience with Nature and leaning into the power of Ancient Wisdom. (Part of Ancient Wisdom is working with Nature and Her messages.)


With each new brood of larvae, each shift in the metamorphosis process, or the culmination towards their escape from the safe cocoon, something also shifted in my life. It became clear with each stage of their transformation, I was going through my own. As the hawk had told me, “what am I not seeing? How do I use my abilities? Do I have power I’m not using? Magic imbues the Power to overcome currently stressful or difficult situations.”


Like my job. A now stressful and difficult situation.


I saw what I hadn’t wanted to admit—I didn’t like my job. I’d made excuses for staying and went back this season because it was the easy thing to do.


I was a plant merchandiser, nothing more. I gave people plant info, helped them work out where to plant them, and how to care for them. But my primary focus was making the plants look attractive, barking to the store if no one watered, and following guidelines on how to create displays.


Sterile, unnatural. No control over how the nursery grew the plants, and never satisfied at the quality of plants I received. I came from a nursery in Maine that held extraordinary standards for what they grew and sold… apparently somewhat uncommon standards in the retail realm. Ick. That’s not a job that respects Nature.


I missed having my hands in the dirt. I needed to launch a beta version of a course I’d created and also put my full energy into coaching. I’d been settling for the last 6 months, and I couldn’t escape that any longer.


I didn’t need more podcasts or webinars, though I still love them. I needed to BE the coach… DO the coaching. Be the teacher, not the student. My job kept me safe, in the ideal position to keep getting coached daily with podcasts, not having to do the “hard” work.


“Hard work” is a story we often tell ourselves, and I had to call myself out on that. Who says it has to be hard? Why can’t it just be “dedicated focus,” or tiny little steps that lead to running, just like an infant does when they take that first step?


I’d never BE the coach and DO the coaching if I didn’t jump off the safety net. I needed to use my Power inside… I needed to connect my energy to that of the larvae I was gifted.


It was now clear whenever something not-so-peachy happened at work, something also happened with the butterflies. We were undeniably aligned. I started documenting the process, perfectly matching it to texts or situations at work. As the Coopers Hawk said, it was time to use my power and admit what I wasn’t seeing.


I decided when the final cocoon hatched, so would I. It was time to break free and fly. I requested a lay off 2.5 months earlier than intended, so I could spend the time needed on helping others in a way my job couldn’t provide.


This is what’s available to us when we use our Senses and Intuition, leaning in to the messages all around us. Sometime this week, take a walk in a forest, work in your garden and plant for spring, if you haven’t already. See what comes up for you in the silence of Nature.


Consider what Nature’s offering… Her gifts are the essence of true abundance. Infinite and always there for support.


P.S. Shortly after I left my job, one of my hatchling children landed on my face… further proof I’d made the right decision and was rewarded. I’ll share that pic in Part III, where I outline the phases of the Swallowtail transformation process! (Along with lots of pics and a mini documentary of it all.)

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